Can Financial Oversharing Hurt Your Relationship?
Introduction
Keeping your partner in the dark about finances can hurt your relationship. But can sharing too much hurt your relationship too? One in five couples say they don’t spend money without telling their partner, according to a survey. Here’s what happens when couples share too much money information.
Financial Oversharing and Relationship Dynamics
Financial oversharing won’t hurt your relationship, but a lack of autonomy can.
“The biggest issue with financial oversharing is feeling like you have no independence if every purchase must be approved by your partner,” said Patrick Hanzel, advance planning specialist. “While a strong relationship is often built on trust and openness, a feeling of independence can also be just as important.”
Members of couples who share too much may feel they aren’t trusted to make money decisions on their own and may feel financially smothered.
Expert Insight
Dennis Nolte, certified financial planner and vice president of Seacoast Investment Services, believes most couples shouldn’t worry too much about oversharing.
“I’ve never heard of oversharing ending a relationship,” said Nolte. “It’s actually a good idea to be on the same page.”
Image Description: Illustration showing the balance between financial independence and sharing.
Undersharing: A Common Problem
According to the survey, almost 50% of couples don’t know each other’s credit scores, and around one-third don’t know each other’s salaries. Not knowing financial facts about your partner can make it harder to reach money goals like buying a house or car.
“For example, not knowing your partner’s credit score can make for a nasty surprise when it comes time to secure a mortgage on a new home,” the survey found. “Couples who don’t know each other’s credit scores are seven times more likely to break up.”
Image Description: Infographic showing the importance of knowing your partner's credit score.
Healthy Ways to Share Finances
There are no set rules on how couples should manage money together, but keeping your partner in the loop financially will benefit the relationship in the long run. Here are some tips for staying on the same page:
1. Figure Out Your Debts
Total up all debts, including student loans and credit card bills, preferably before you merge finances. Create a plan to tackle the debt together. Each partner can contribute to a joint account dedicated to paying off debt.
2. Don’t Let Savings Fall to the Wayside
It’s essential to have a healthy emergency fund in case the unexpected happens. Set up automatic transfers to your savings account so you never forget.
Image Description: Illustration of an emergency fund savings plan.
3. Set Your Goals
Sit down with your partner and map out financial goals. Maybe you want to buy a home, a car, or pay off your debt in a certain number of years. Couples can save up for shared goals in a joint bank account and have separate accounts for individual goals.
“They have the ability to spend from their accounts with no questions asked,” said Mike Miller, certified financial planner and founder of Integra Shield Financial Group. “They don't have to share how they are spending in this account so they don’t feel judged or criticized.”
Image Description: Infographic showing how to set financial goals as a couple.
4. Organize a Monthly Money Talk
Talking about money regularly can help couples stay on the same page and avoid any surprises. Set aside a time each month to sit down and revisit your budget and goals, making adjustments if necessary.
“Money conflicts when left unaddressed can lead to divorce,” said Miller. “I encourage couples to be very transparent about money, no questions asked.”
Professional Guidance
If you’re unsure where to start, consider tapping a financial professional. An adviser can walk couples through their finances and help them reach money goals together.
Image Description: Illustration of a couple meeting with a financial adviser.